Reasons to Leave Algeria and Settle in America

Many friends wonder why I came to America. Today, July 4, is America's independence day. Tomorrow, July 5, is Algeria's. Maybe one reason of my coming to America was to celebrate independence one day earlier.

Below are my 10 reasons for moving from Algeria to America.

• 10) To live in an empire called the US.
• 9) To get away from my mother-in-law.
• 8) To get away from my mother.
• 7) To water grass, cut it, and not feed it to my goats.
• 6) To see my children speak English instead of Tamazight (Berber).
• 5) To become a slave to the dollar instead of the dinar.
• 4) To replace the word “opportunity” with the word “money.”
• 3) To listen to politicians waffle* in English instead of Arabic
• 2) To beat my wife without fearing her brothers' retaliation.
• 1) To claim my share of Indian land.

* Waffling, also referred to as obscure language or double-speak, is close to the well-known "langue de bois" French expression.